Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tales of the Transmission, cont.

A few days have passed since I first wrote of my exciting stay in Marion, IL, Milky-Eyed Steve, and the fun that we all had.

Thursday afternoon, realizing that I would be once again be enjoying the hospitality of Marion, I made arrangements at a Hampton Inn. I chose them primarily because their website announced in bold letters "We are a 100% smoke-free facility." Well, that and the fact that Milky-Eyed Steve did not endorse the Hampton Inn.

I arrived later in the afternoon, after over 7 fun-filled hours of waiting at the Toyota dealership. Those are moments I will always treasure. I choose to treasure them because I'll never get them back, so I may as well treasure them.

I loved my room, but I needed a change of clothes. At this point, let me explain how guys pack. See, I was going to be gone for one night and one day. That's one pair of jeans and a t-shirt to wear on the drive down, one set of dress clothes for the funeral I was to attend in Tennessee, and one pair of jeans for the return trip. One extra pair of underwear, and I'm all set. So I wasn't ready for the marathon theme park that is Marion, Illinois. I needed to do some laundry at the hotel, but I had nothing to change into except the dirty jeans I had stuck in my suitcase on day two (the rest of the dirty clothes were in the dirty clothes bag in the back of my car).

I walked about 200 yards in the hot, muggy afternoon heat to a convenience store. Why, you ask, did I choose a convenience store? Because it was the closest store. I took a gamble that they might have an assortment of "Marion Rocks!" T-shirts, or maybe some "I Survived the Super 8 in Marion" T-shirts. I thought at the very least they would have some of the black, sleeveless, "wife-beater" tank shirts I had seen so many of in Marion already. But, no. The convenience store had no shirts of any kind. Only some Harley Davidson bandanas. Not quite enough material.

I walked the 200 yards back to my room, and by the end of the walk, I really needed to do some laundry. I looked online and searched for "walmart in marion il". Imagine how excited I was when I discovered there was a Wal-mart just across Highway 13 from my hotel! I was going to have something to wear while I did laundry! I left the hotel immediately to make the short walk to a real store!

Okay, first, it wasn't a short walk. Turns out, crossing Highway 13 is about 100 yards of steep banks and wide, very busy roadways. But I was on a quest. I made it across both east and west lanes of 13, and I could see the parking lot ahead. And the parking lot really didn't even look that full!

As I got closer, I realized that, in fact, there were no cars in the parking lot. There were, however, lots of cars at the Sam's Club next door. And then, I saw it. The "BUILDING FOR LEASE" sign on what used to be a Wal-mart store. Really?

I didn't have a Sam's Club membership. I do now.

At that point, it was a quest. I was going to get a new T-shirt. And maybe a little something extra.

Thirty minutes later, I headed back out across the massive, hot asphalt parking lot for the return trip to my wonderful, clean, 100% smoke-free, cool, hotel room. In my wallet was a new Sam's Club member card, with a likeness of--someone who looked less than zippity do-da about the entire odyssey. So yeah, it looked just like me. Under one arm, I proudly carried my new T-shirt and a Family Value Picnic Pail of Beefaroni. Under the other, a 25-pound bag of Cheetos. There would be a party at the Country Inn & Suites that night. Right after a load of laundry.

I would like to bring you up to date on the story of the remaining stay and intervening days, but I'm not sure what that would do to my blood-pressure. So, to quote Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride, "...Let me es-plain....no, there is too much---let me sum up..."

Friday evening, 5/28, returned to Springfield to await word on when the car would be finished.
Wednesday evening, 6/2, still waiting.

Don't get me started.

The best part of it all? At some point, I will get to return to Marion to pick up my car. At the current rate of service from Marion Toyota, however, that may be somewhere around Labor Day. . .2011.

2 comments:

  1. What a trip! Hope you tell Toyota when it's all said and done!

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  2. Your writing skills are amazing--I totally pictured everything as you described it. This is really funny. I know it's not funny, really. But it is funny. Really.

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